Giving
Do kind things for others
If you want to feel good, doing good is a great place to start.
Helping and being kind not only contributes to the happiness of others, it can also help us to feel happier ourselves! [1] Studies have shown that when we do kind things it can literally gives our brain a boost, activating its ‘reward centres’ [2] and that feels good. It can take our minds off our own worries too.
Giving and kindness also help us feel connected to others which is important for our wellbeing and contributes to building stronger communities and a happier society for everyone. [3]
There are lots of different ways we can give and help others.
Every act of kindness counts
From small acts like a friendly smile, a few kind words, helping with bags, or offering up our seat, through to regular volunteering - there are lots of different ways we can give or be kind. We can of course donate money to good causes if we are able to and we can give in lots of non-financial ways too, such as giving a moment of attention, some of our time, knowledge, ideas, energy or support, or even sometimes by giving people the benefit of the doubt, instead of instantly judging them. Acts of kindness add up for our own and others wellbeing and all contribute to creating happier communities. [4]
Reflection: What’s a small act of kindness you could do today?
Helping others can boost happiness in many ways
Scientific studies show that helping others can contribute to our happiness in different ways. These include: experiencing more positive emotions and satisfaction with life [5]; increasing our sense of meaning [6], and boosting our self-confidence. It can reduce stress and help us feel calmer too. [7] Some studies have found that people who volunteered regularly were found to be more hopeful and experience fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety and may even live longer. [8] Not all acts of helping boost how happy we feel – to maximise the benefits, it’s important that we’ve chosen if or how we help; we can see or sense that it will have a positive impact; and it helps us feel more connected to others. [9]
So if you want to feel good, find ways you can do good!
Reflection: When was a time that you chose to give or help others that boosted how happy you felt? What contributed to that?
Everyone needs kindness
Giving and being kind can help us feel more connected to others and contribute to nurturing our relationships - and that’s good for wellbeing all round! [10] Our acts of kindness might be for family, friends, colleagues, or neighbours or even strangers. They could be old or young, nearby or far away. It could be a one-off spontaneous gesture or something we do regularly. It could be a compassionate response in a time of crisis or need or simply because it’s a nice thing to do. There are always ways to be kind.
Reflection: Who have you been kind to recently? Who has been kind to you?
Create kindness ripples
Studies have shown that when we do something kind both the recipient and other people who witness that kind act are more likely to be kind themselves. [11] So our kindnesses are amplified, contributing to a happier world! Expressing gratitude for help others give us also ripples out too. [12]
Reflection: Who can you thank for what they give to you?
Ask for help when you need it
Think about it - if helping others boosts happiness, asking for help when we need it could give the person we ask the opportunity for a feel good boost. It can also mean they are then more likely to ask for help when they need it. Certainly communities where people feel they can rely on others to help are happier and more resilient. [13] Asking for help builds connection - so it isn’t only for when we are struggling. We can also ask for help to share experiences, when we’d value support, or when we want to learn something new.
Reflection: What’s something you’d like help with? Who can you ask?
Balancing your own needs and those of others
Helping is associated with increased happiness and health, but feeling obligated or overly burdened by it can be detrimental, [14] as can be the case for long-term carers. If you are a carer, taking care of your own wellbeing matters – for yourself and the people you are helping. Even small actions that give you a quick break or a boost can help you sustain your physical and psychological health and so your ability to continue caring for others.
Reflection: What is an action you can take to maintain your own wellbeing, to help you
sustain caring for others?
Sustainable giving
As a general rule, we can be more effective, regular givers if we find ways to help that we enjoy, which are in line with our own strengths and feel worthwhile or meaningful. If we are happier givers, the recipients will likely benefit more, and we are more likely to continue to give. Choosing how we help and give to others, giving in ways that boost our sense of social connection and in which we feel effective and impactful all matter in order to sustain giving and helping others. [15] Happier people tend to help others more, so taking care of your own wellbeing helps you sustain giving too. [16]
Reflection: What ways of helping others do you enjoy or find energising?
References
1 Curry, O. S., Rowland, L. A., Van Lissa, C. J., Zlotowitz, S., McAlaney, J., & Whitehouse, H. (2018). Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 76, 320-329. Aknin, L. B., Dunn, E. W., &; Norton, M. I. (2012). Happiness runs in a circular motion: Evidence for a positive feedback loop between prosocial spending and happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies, 13(2), 347-355.
2 Harbaugh, W. T., Mayr, U., &; Burghart, D. R. (2007). Neural responses to taxation and voluntary giving reveal motives for charitable donations. Science, 316(5831), 1622-1625.
3 Aknin, L. B., Whillans, A. V., Norton, M. I., & Dunn, E. W. (2019). Happiness and prosocial behavior: An evaluation of the evidence. World Happiness Report 2019, 67-86. Okabe-Miyamoto, K., &; Lyubomirsky, S. (2021). Social connection and well-being during COVID-19. World Happiness Report, 131-152.
4 Aknin, L. B., Whillans, A. V., Norton, M. I., & Dunn, E. W. (2019). Happiness and prosocial behavior: An evaluation of the evidence. World Happiness Report 2019, 67-86. Okabe-Miyamoto, K., &; Lyubomirsky, S. (2021). Social connection and well-being during COVID-19. World Happiness Report, 131-152.
5 Aknin, L. B., & Whillans, A. V. (2021). Helping and happiness: A review and guide for public policy. Social Issues and Policy Review, 15(1), 3-34.
6 What Works Centre for Wellbeing Briefing Paper (2020) Volunteer wellbeing: what works and who benefits? https://whatworkswellbeing.org/resources/volunteer-wellbeing-what-works-and-who-benefits/
7 Luks, A. A. (1988). Helper's high. Psychology Today, 22(10), 39.; Piliavin, J. (2003). Doing well by doing good: Benefits for the benefactor. In C. M. Keyes, J. Haidt, C. M. Keyes, J. Haidt (Eds.) , Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well-lived (pp. 227-247). Washington, DC US: American Psychological Association.
8 Aknin, L. B., Whillans, A. V., Norton, M. I., & Dunn, E. W. (2019). Happiness and prosocial behavior: An evaluation of the evidence. World Happiness Report 2019, 67-86. Curry, O. S., Rowland, L. A., Van Lissa, C. J., Zlotowitz, S., McAlaney, J., &; Whitehouse, H. (2018). Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 76, 320-329. King, V. (2016) 10 Keys to Happier Living – A Practical Guide for Happiness. Hachette. Lyubomirsky, S, Sheldon, K M, &; Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111 - 131
9 Aknin, L. B., & Whillans, A. V. (2021). Helping and happiness: A review and guide for public policy. Social Issues and Policy Review, 15(1), 3-34.; King, V. (2016) 10 Keys to Happier Living – A Practical Guide for Happiness. Hachette.
10 Aknin, L. B., & Whillans, A. V. (2021). Helping and happiness: A review and guide for public policy. Social Issues and Policy Review, 15(1), 3-34.; Helliwell, J. F., Aknin, L. B., Shiplett, H., Huang, H., & Wang, S. (2017). Social capital and prosocial behaviour as sources of well-being. National Bureau of Economic Research Working Paper 23761
11 Jung, H., Seo, E., Han, E., Henderson, M. D., and Patall, E. A. (2020). Prosocial modeling: A meta-analytic review and synthesis. Psychological Bulletin, 146(8), 635
12 Algoe, S. B., Dwyer, P. C., Younge, A., &; Oveis, C. (2020). A new perspective on the social functions of emotions: Gratitude and the witnessing effect. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 119(1), 40.
13 Aknin, L. B., & Whillans, A. V. (2021). Helping and happiness: A review and guide for public policy. Social Issues and Policy Review, 15(1), 3-34.; Helliwell, J. F., Aknin, L. B., Shiplett, H., Huang, H., &; Wang, S. (2017). Social capital and prosocial behaviour as sources of well-being. National Bureau of Economic Research Working Paper 23761
14 Aknin, L. B., & Whillans, A. V. (2021). Helping and happiness: A review and guide for public policy. Social Issues and Policy Review, 15(1), 3-34
15 Aknin, L. B., & Whillans, A. V. (2021). Helping and happiness: A review and guide for public policy. Social Issues and Policy Review, 15(1), 3-34.; King, V. (2016) 10 Keys to Happier Living – A Practical Guide for Happiness. Hachette.
16 Aknin, L. B., Dunn, E. W., & Norton, M. I. (2012). Happiness runs in a circular motion: Evidence for a positive feedback loop between prosocial spending and happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies, 13(2), 347-355.
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No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted
No-one can take away from you that which you have given
Gratitude is like breathing in – letting ourselves be touched by the goodness in others and in our world. Generosity is like breathing out – sensing our mutual belonging and offering our care.
